15. Dibirt ……………………87 days to go

Have you ever wanted two things so bad- things that could not happen at the same time? And remember me telling you that I was going to apply for a master’s degree in Berlin?  

 

In the beginning I wanted to go and I wanted to stay, each in equal measure. But as the days went by I began fantasizing about the opportunities that would open up for me and the new life I would be living. Don’t get me wrong: I love my life and the great company I am in. One of the toughest things about leaving Ethiopia would have been the thought of being apart from this company. But as the date for the announcement of the decision drew near, my hopes and fantasies had all but relegated my fears of departing to the background. 

 

Don’t ask me why but I was optimistic about my chances of getting in .I had a post planned to celebrate my acceptance: it went something like “this calls for a post, not a toast” referring to my prediction of the state I would be in .You know, the state that would have been brought by the ramifications of my going to Germany. 

 

At this juncture, allow me to say “doesn’t anyone give a damn about posting on this site anymore?’’. I have told you my reason and Tilaye has posted something that looks like “yebere ginbar”. Betty may be writing something soon and Senai comments occasionally. But it is awfully quiet up in here. Zimitaw yiseber wegenoch ! 

 

Getting back to …. Yesterday was decision day. I checked my mail in the morning and the afternoon and nothing. Then in the evening came the e mail man. I opened it (the e mail)…. 

 

Again, let me stop here and tell you about something I saw on a fire extinguisher. Number one on the operating instructions is “carry to fire”. I mean, is that not supposed to be a given? You see where I am going with this? 

 

I did not get accepted a.k.a. I got rejected .Take your pick. 

 

 What I remember seeing first is the “regretfully” at the end. I stared at the letter for sometime as if to rearrange the letters with my bare eyes (is this expression correct?) and make them read “you have been accepted!”  

 

The joy of staying did not seem so appealing at that point in time. The “I wish I was dreaming“feeling from a few posts ago came over me. I went to bed but as usual sleep turned out to be a sorry excuse for a means of drowning my fears, disappointments, etc. Everytime I try and do that (like when Manchester loses), my troubles keep on waiting for me on the other side of the night; hands crossed on chests like “what now?!”  True enough, I had an awful night and woke up feeling like shit. 

 

Failure is a bitch. 

I am now at the damage control phase. I have to disconnect the synapses that used to paint beautiful pictures about my expectations. My ongoing education must receive my undivided attention. I should not be stressing about how I could have done better in the past and how I could have been accepted by the institution. I do not even know the criteria on which I came short. Most of all, I should get back to the mood I was in when I was commenting on T’s bits (RIP); then everything would be just peachy. 

It is too late for me to ask this question. But Tilaye, why did you stop your blog? Why man whhhhy?

 

Is it true that Gemini make for shitty teachers? I went into teaching against astrological advice and look what happened. On Saturday about a quarter of the class showed up, the ones present were either sleepy or bored, and word is that my teaching methods did not sit well with the students in general. This just in, I read on Encarta that teaching is one of the professions associated with Gemini. The teacher who succeeded me is a Gemini and they like him just fine. Tilaye, you is a Gemini; say something.

On the last post, I was asked about the political situation in Ethiopia. I, as most of other Ethiopians, was robbed of my rekindled enthusiasm on the subject by what happened in the aftermath of the Ginbot ’97. I hate Etv so I do not know what they are saying on that. But I have heard that the 38 imprisoned CUD leaders and journalists have been convicted of the crimes that were laid upon them. And the sentences can reach up to capital punishment. Some more people (at least one from our sefer) have been arrested on the same charges. 

 

Better days are proving as elusive as ever albeit we are being constantly told that they are here. And this coming from a person living one of the “yetemechachu nurowoch” in the country. 

On a happier note, there is this new singer who goes by the name Mikaya Behailu. I like her album.

 This was Tibebe. 

 

 One

 

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tibebe
    Jun 24, 2007 @ 16:39:26

    one more thing :gemini also put the “in” in intelligent.

    we can not help it.it is our curse!

    about the rejection, i am moving past that.

    Reply

  2. getere
    Jun 23, 2007 @ 22:57:34

    and there is one sensitive post from a typical pieces

    Reply

  3. betty
    Jun 23, 2007 @ 16:43:28

    Ok ok

    alabezachihutim,,,,,,,,, betam temogagesachubign.

    FIrst thing is first………………… I know it hurts when they say ” you have not been accepted” . But one thing I know is it is their loss or atleast I tell that to my self.

    But one thing I know is things donot always happen the way we want them,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, they may not happen at all or they take time………………….. time when GOD says, it is allright for you to have that now. The main thing is not giving up.

    As for the polite words………………………… I wish we had that in our culture, At first when I got here, it was really strange , I mean being appreciated for every little deed. But now I am using it and it feels great even just to say it. But most of all , I believe it motivates you to be a better person in some ways.

    I donot believe every one that says it doesnot mean it…………… some of them do, some of them donot. it is hard to tell, all I can speak about is my self.

    ‘”………….””geminis are good in communications. just like the way Tibebe and Tilaye are the ones who are always posting and commenting on the blogs. …………..””””‘

    for this , I have no comment, but I love you for the posting, because reading it always assures me that you are next to me and that is a comfort.

    Reply

  4. tibebe
    Jun 19, 2007 @ 12:20:32

    now don’t be talking about no gaussian surface: i am reminded of freshman physics and get nauseous.

    people might think that gemini being intelligent is a conceited statement . but i happen tothink that it is an understatment. cuz it is common knowledge that we put the “ge” in ”intelligent”. for all you other dummies “ge” is the one before ”nt” and “nt” the one before ….

    come to think of it , i like the way ferenjs correspond . . they grow up learning to say “please” and “thank you” and that reflects upon most of their talk and writing. in ethiopia , it is hard for people to say “amesgnalehu” , “yikerta” ,”ebakih/sh”….

    so when we are being talked/written in such ways ,we feel like either they are being extra nice to us or they are trying to let us down easy. it might even look like they are giving us a false hope .but i think that is the way they know how to do it: it is just normal talk for them.

    and tilaye,keep on blogging ,blogger.

    Reply

  5. getere
    Jun 17, 2007 @ 08:39:37

    i’m blogging here ya? i didn’t stop eko. but i admit not as regularly as before 😕

    Reply

  6. getere
    Jun 17, 2007 @ 08:18:25

    i guess it is a bad day for geminis. i had a rough week too. Tibe don’t worry you’ll get used to those rejection letters soon 🙂 i mean why don’t they just put it in a big font “You have been rejected” right in the middle of an A4 paper. thats all they want to say anyway. it all starts with how many applicants they had and how every applicant was so good that they it was very tough for them to choose, that they want you to apply next year minamin minamin. whatever happened to “You have been rejected”. whenever i get such decisive letters, i go right to the last statement of the page. all the answers are there.

    cheer up. also keep trying. your success/failure is more like a random variable which has some gaussian probability distribution over the space of successes and failures. ok i don’t know what i’m talking about. but you get the idea. no? beqa atcheqchiqegn.

    Reply

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