yeah in the end that is what he said.” what do I know, I was just talking… don’t take what I said and let go of what you believe in.” Was I taking it all in or was I only taking what I believe is helpful for me at this moment at least?I didn’t need to ask my self this, so I replied ” … Don’t worry I only take what I need and the rest I put it for later if I need to consider it.” The truth is for the most part he is right
… seriously I hate that he is always right in so many ways. Dr. Rappleye would have loved to have him as a student… because he thinks far ahead of people and he sees the bigger picture in almost every situation; as Dr. Rappleye put it for me once…( This is not a quote)..If you take people out into the jungle, most of them would tell you that they saw a tree but they will not mention that they saw a forest…but “he” is one of those few people who will say he saw a forest, now that I think about it you both are one of those few as well…
Living away from my best friends has been driving me crazy for a long time, but now I think just like Tiye told me once, Tesfa sikort tekebelkut. But what Sammiye has said will always tie us in one way or the other… people we meet from now on are not going to be our friends, they are just going to be acquaintances. This was what I was discussing with “him,” I was telling him that I was afraid of making new friends because I felt like I am going to forget my real friends… “ok that didnot come out right.”I say to myself; and he proves me right by saying ” uuuu ” … ok may be I babble too much when I sometimes talk to “him.” I plan to say something and it comes out totally wrong… the truth is I donot want to make new friends, I want to be myself around people: if they accept me then eseyew, if not then their loss. He says ” you are away from your best friends now, you cannot have that friendship, you just make new friends because all of you in your own ways will make a life for yourselves and you just get lost…” I guess I was mad at him at this point because I wanted to cry and he must have sensed that so he said ” What do I know…”
For most people what he is saying is true, but not for us, it is something that I know and hope for as well. We are friends tied by the bonds of love, brotherhood and sisterhood, we are actually blood tight…one may be across the Atlantic, the other in Europe, the other in the highlands of that beautiful land in the horn of Africa, the other in the low lands of the horn of Africa ….the list goes on,. We have been through a lot; we have touched each other’s lives in so many ways and most of all we understand each other even without spoken words; we understand each other’s needs even in silence, and that just doesnot come by over night. But it also didnot come by a lot of effort, it was something natural that just took place… other people donot get it and to be honest I donot care if they do or donot. But I want “him” to get it and hopefully with GOD’s help” he” will.
So that is why I would rather channel all the energy I have in keeping you all in my life than make new friends wherever I go, I donot want to be like “Fugitive,” the lion trying to get accepted by ” Brutus,” the pride alpha male.
This doesnot mean that I will be a loner here because I have become friends with the most amazing people: Stef is one of them, I love her dearly and ” he” is also another one.
But it also means that I will keep you all in my heart wherever I go, because when loneliness strikes; when things get tuff; and when the rest of the world doesnot give me time, you are the ones I run to, you all have been my safest place to hide, for this and many more reasons I love you all and thank you for being you.