Shit I don’t want to be here…and now!
It has happened in my life- on many an occasion these past I don’t know how many units of time- that I am wondering whether I am in “that place” and am happy. And this voice inside, I don’t know whose, answers me quite often – “you deserve to be happy and this is not the way to go.”
So then, which one is the way to go?
Started this week tired at the end of hectic four days, of which two were spent on the road between A and B. I had classes from Monday to Wednesday. The first two classes were awful; I mean I was awful. And that made me feel awful. And all the while I am thinking I should make up for the sleep I lost in the preparation for the journey and try and recover from the buslag. And the third class turns out to be kinda good, unexpectedly. And hope comes creeping in.
And then it was gone. Darn!
Lord, forgive me for being this fool who has utterly failed to appreciate your infinite blessing…
but I don’t want to be here.
One thing I have very much enjoyed recently is reading a book while traveling. I read the tale of two cities- yes I know, after the entire world had read it- and liked it very much. And I never thought Dickens could be funny. I did not develop that supposition after reading many of his works (I had only read great expectations and blest if I fully remember what it was about!) It’s just that, for unknown reasons, the name Dickens I associated with serious themes and seriousness; and for his face I always painted Abraham Lincoln’s. The tale of two cities is a serious sad story but it also has its funny moments.
Finally crossed Abay Bereha-after the entire world had crossed it- and it was beautiful, with the clouds down below, and scary-you know I am not that crazy about heights. Enjibara and Yechereka were also nice.
Lord, I guess what I am trying to say is,…, is what I am trying to say “I want to jump ship, just take off, say fuck it to everything, and spend my life traveling , seeing new sights and reading new books, listening to music, and maybe, just maybe, find that elusive thing called happiness or perhaps, let it find me. And,and, truth too 😀 ” ?
This post was not about a girl or girls.
Well, what do you know!?
Still, let it be known that I have known all the people I need to know minus one.
And oh by the way, I drank tej yesterday 🙂