thoughts crept upon me…

I came home yesterday and no one was there, Tsega  my BFF called and we talked for about 20 or so minutes…I went and      checked my e-mails…nothing exciting and didnot get the e-mail I was hoping to get…; went to the basement  and saw NCIS… which always entertained me.. bla bla bla….Miti called and asked what I was doing?.. My answer “nothing.. trying to read Ludlem’s The matarese countdown”…, he thought I was jocking but when he realized I was actually telling the truth..” good girl.. that is the  Betty I know…” That made me laugh and it also made me want to cry.. then my bro came in and said ” this is the first time I saw you in the house before midnight”.. he was joking ofcourse, I spend the whole day with him and at night i try to go somewhere, most of the time to Etiye Mulushewa’s house and just sit or read or watch NCIS.. then get up and go home… that has been pretty much what I have been doing…. but when my brother mentioned that I am  not home for most nights… I realized that it was my way of hiding having no fun… I go to  the other home to feel like I am out of the house… but what difference does it make, it is just a different house….

There are times I feel so empty, my stomach turns upside down; I feel like just going , driving with no destination… just go…. these feelings creep into my thoughts when I am sitting,  or when  i get up in the middle of the night for no reason and that is what I felt when I woke up thinking I heard my alarm go off, but it didnot since It was set for 5.15am… it was only 1.40 am… I sat down and sailed in the sea of my thoughts…and thought of Aj’s verse

….. Empty spaces fill me up with holes

…..distant faces with no place left to go

…..without you within me I cannot find no rest

…..where I am going is anybody’s guess…

I wished I was free to just go out and drive back home… then I realized IGZIABHER is my road back home… then I slowley drifted back to sleep and when Iwoke up it was already 5.40 am…I came to work and there it was a basket full of yellow flowers ( actually they looked like Adey Abebawoch)…. it took me back home and I thanked GOD for that….. I loved the yellow flowers that only show up once a year, they gave me hope and they always reminded me of how bright every person’s life would be if we are always smiling even when things get tuff… It is God’s promise to us that even if it looks as if happiness left us… there should always be hope that bright days are not that far….

The emptiness never left me because I am away from those who filled it… but I always smiled knowing that  my smile brightnes up other people…. what right do I have to make other people’s days gloomy…..

Totaly unrelated to the moral of the story….So Seni, Betty, Aki and I decided to watch Medea and Seni says she has to attend to natures call… I decided to do the same because I know I am going to be laughing silly when watching the movie and I might in the end wet my… you know… so sunny goes into this restroom without reading anything but she tells me to check if it is the ladys room from inside…( let me give you the architacture of the rest room, it is divided into two sections left and right… and usually most rest rooms here are lady’s on one side and men on the other side)… so I looked at what it says on her side and it said “Men”… so I yell and tell her to come out and follow me to the other one….. guess what… I stepped into the other one and there is this dude doing his thing… Iwas so shocked, I run out screaming … he was so mad at me… he followed me and screamed…. so apparently there was no lady’s room on that side of the building: it was on the other side of the building. In my defence “.. Architecturochu tewkaktobachew.. ye wond ena yest shintibet gon le gon lemin alserum like it is the norm in most rest rooms in the US”… but the look on the guys face was hilarious now that I think about it..”sorry dude if you read this, I swear I didnot see a thing”… that topped all of my embarrasing moments……

So today, I am going to a birthday of a one year old, I am excited… I need those of my own… although I would love it if Nahom was mine..



5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. betty
    Sep 27, 2009 @ 13:31:23

    lol.. Tiye.. scuba diving not for me yet.. I know I will meet some nice people.. it is not about meeting new people though.. it is about something more than that….

    But I have been thinkg about volunteering at animals sheltor and stuff, so we will see..


  2. Anonymous
    Sep 27, 2009 @ 10:08:44

    driving endlessly? benzin atakatyi setyo.

    why don’t you join some group beth? scuba diving or some animal lovers group. you’ll meet nice people i think.


  3. betty
    Sep 21, 2009 @ 19:56:52

    well, one of the invited guests, a 11 month old girl named ” AEKLA”… changed my mind about hope…. it was amazing holding her… a child putting her trust on me… and drifting to a deep sleep …that felt so amazing… and then came ” yehonu azawint” and asked if it was my baby?.. I said no.. and he said ” Donot worry God will give you those”… I felt happy and pretty much spent like one and half hour holding her while she slept… this kind of experience, I have had before… but not the feeling … I felt like I can dream again… and that was a Gift from GOD for that day and for life time….


  4. betty
    Sep 21, 2009 @ 19:51:54

    I am really offended… but what Tiye sent to us cracked me up.. the quarter life crisis… I think we all have it….


  5. tibebe
    Sep 21, 2009 @ 13:38:34

    it has been a marvellous day for self-loathing; don’t be offended if i fail to throw positive words your way.

    all i can tell you right now is that life sucks. and i want you to tell that to the birthday boy/girl. they should not get their hopes up.


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