One way of handling annoying people

He doesn’t show a welcoming face. He often looks too tired to serve me. He’s quick to say “no, we don’t have that today”. He then looks away as if he can’t wait till I order something else and I go out of his way. He doesn’t say “Thank you” when I pay.

He annoys me.

If I ask “Can I have a panini please?”, he’d say something like (in a slightly angry tone) “Panini with what? There are many kinds”.

It’s been three years since I started going to this cafe. He’s been there from the start. I’ve tried to be nice to him but no joy.

I have a story for him now. I’d like to believe he’s in his mid 20’s. That’s why he’s a bit immature. He works in the cafe to finance his evening courses (I’ve seen him reading books when it’s less busy). Some people from remote areas here don’t have the usual “thank-you-please-marvelous” communication type. So maybe he’s from such a place or his parents brought him up that way. This is the only thing I could do because I can’t waste my time disliking anyone. Certainly not someone I meet almost every day.

It has worked. To make my story even more believable, last weekend he came over to where me and my friends were sitting and gave us free food (they throw away food on Saturday afternoon before they close).

Think of someone you dislike and try it on them. I know, someone people are so bad that it’s hard to come up with any believable story. But still, give it a try. It may help you to dislike them less. And maybe they’ll notice that and be a bit nicer towards you. It’s a chain reaction. And there’s nothing like getting along with someone you dislike, or even exchanging a healthy “hello”. It’s a relief. It’s not because you now have one additional person to say hi to. It’s because you now have one less person to dislike. Disliking people is not an enjoyable thought. Every single second you think about someone who’s been mean to you, unfair to you or who’s hurt you, is a pain. It’s a pain to recall a bad experience. It’s a pain to think about how wrong it was. And it’s a pain to think about revenge. Such thoughts also go even further by affecting your relationship with other people.

Something new to experiment on this week (I don’t claim to be the inventor of this idea of course!)

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. getere
    Apr 20, 2010 @ 19:47:17

    i didn’t say anything to him. i guess he’s just grumpy by nature.

    Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
    Neo: What truth?
    Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
    Neo: There is no spoon?
    Spoon boy: Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

    Reply

    • tibebe
      Apr 22, 2010 @ 14:31:04

      what exactly did you do to/for the poor guy?

      i did not understand shit.

      all i know is that i am feeling rather uncomfortable about all this ‘bend” talk.

      Reply

  2. tibebe
    Apr 20, 2010 @ 07:05:34

    it is not clear what you did to the guy. did you tell him a story ( if so, what story), did you buy him a book, what did you do?

    explanations please because i want to try it on the cock🙂

    Reply

    • getere
      Apr 20, 2010 @ 19:58:10

      There is no cock. Then you’ll see, that it is not the cock that cocks, it is only yourself.😀😀😀

      Or…you can enjoy the sound.

      I used to have trouble sleeping. I still do, but not as bad. So I start from 1000 and count backwards, try to name everything that’s in my bedroom, etc. Whatever works for you. I can hear you you shout from there saying “But I always do, I think about girls all the time!!!”. Yes, yes, you got the thinking part right. But the idea is to think of something boring. So boring that your mind says “What the hell, there’s nothing fun to do. I’d rather rest”.

      Reply

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