my good samaritan

So I am sitting, waiting for lunch to arrive. I am thinking, how am I going to spend the 300 seconds until it gets here? Checked the alternatives: playing with my phone – so lame; didn’t have a book with me so that I could put on airs. I decide to strike a worried pose: palms on cheeks elbows on the table – the whole enchilada. And, you might have guessed it, I took to it like a duck to water! I am burdened by worries just like the next guy;  so no surprises there.

You know, chronic worry could do some funky shit to your cardiovascular system and what not but in the short term, ain’t nothing like it to get you noticed by a total stranger from across the table. She beckons me, nay, orders me, to come over and sit with her. I say, “Yes mam!” and drag my butt over to her table.

She asks “what the fuck is wrong you?”

“I guess I had too much coffee this morning”

“I thought coffee made you lively? And what were you doing having too much coffee anyway?”

“Well I had some (coffee) before l left home and at another place I appended some yilugnta coffee to it”

“From here it looked like you were seriously worried; like you were canoeing down shit creek without a paddle; I mean, I could have thrown you a paddle; but your canoe had holes all over. I just had to save you, man! Are you a student? Are exams approaching, projects due?”

“I am a teacher…”

By now my firfir has arrived, later to be joined by her qey wot.

Well what can I say? We kicked it! She told me about her job, showed me the building where she works, about her husband and three kids,…

The kids

The elder daughter had been disillusioned by some guy (the asshole!) and had foreswore men – that is until the day her momma met a depressed dude at lunch and told her all about him and the girl said no thanks and got back with the douche bag lest her mother was gung-ho on the whole DDB – depressed-dude bizzness.

But really, the younger daughter has been, in a light-hearted manner, pushing for her sister to get hitched already and get out of the frigging way. Did I mention the family had rooms to let and that I had exchanged numbers with the momma to use them in the unfortunate event I get kicked out of my present digs for seri0us misbehavior (and misbehave I shall, starting today kelelitu sidist seat)?

Here is how I met her momma.

Momma cooks wot for this morning’s lunch box → maid promises to come early in the morning enjera lemegager → maid reneges her promise (owing to the fact, I suspect, she had a rough night with her old man; and rough ain’t always bad; could be tiresome of course but ….) → momma decides to have lunch at the office since there was no time → worried/depressed/whatever dude decides to have an early lunch after a morning of running hither and thither → refer to the previous paragraphs → dude, with a great deal of self-loathing, realizes that there was nothing to realize, that he just had to get out there and get laid, and stop bothering his two poor friends with all sorts of chimera → his two poor friends agree.

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