I am trying to make up my mind about brands of deodorant – Old Spice and Rexona – and two friends walk into the shop. In an unprecedented act of I don’t know what, I ask them to choose for me (surprised, later I will turn to myself and be like “what?!”). The shopkeeper insists that they should not be given the honors because the particular products were designed for men. I clarify matters by saying that men wear deodorants in order to attract women and egg my judges on to choose the scent that they would find hot on a guy. One of the ladies prevails over her friend and a decision is reached: Old Spice is less strong and hence manlier. By now the shopkeeper has taken my cause and asks what if my girlfriend doesn’t like the product. I know that is my cue. I should say (and I so much want to say) something to the effect of “I am single, well nigh 30 and dying for a fuck or two”. But apparently, my new found intrepidity around women has a half-life of one minute and my tongue (the rascal!) is soon up to its usual shenanigans of looking for a hiding place in my oral cavity, making u turns and shit. One of them says something to the effect of “Of course she is going to like it”; and that is the end. So much for stepping my pimp game up!
Would somebody please read the following written on my face?!
(Tsotawi) fitesha being the substitute for choms…
People, make no mistake about it! There still is a place in the deepest recesses of my mind, dedicated to thoughts other than fitesha. For instance, gloating aside, 38.9% of my students scored As, a 27.5% increase over last year. Yet, I still have got a lot to improve upon. Most of the feedback I got from the kids has to do with how good and exemplary a person I was. Well, exemplary my ass! They obviously have not seen all them porn sites on my search history. What I really need is someone or something to reassure me that I have upgraded my teaching skills by at least 27.5%.
Note to self: Being abstruse in your blog posts may be ok; but lectures and lecture notes are another story. ALL CREDIT TO THE KIDS. This goes out to them:
So, a new batch and the challenge continues. Maybe that is one of the great things about being a teacher – the pressure to come up with new ways of doing things. I hate that I am not perfect but I would not have it any other way.
Check out an Old Spice commercial.