the secret behind why some people run (well)

I recently got introduced to a new theory on why (East) Africans are very good runners. መቼም ጆሮ ለባለቤቱ ባዳ ነው እስካሁን ሳልሰማ:: Three different people from three different countries corroborated the theory. Turns out that Africans grow up being chased by lions and other felines that, competition with their fellow humans is beneath them.  Imagine Haile in the morning, going out of his home –a hut in the savannah, late for school, ደብተሩን በአንድ እጁ ይዞ, prodding a sleeping hangover lion with a very long stick on the other hand,: “ዌል እንግዴ አያ አንበሶ ትምህርት የረፈደብኝ ሁኔታ ነው ያለው:: how about it, huh?”

Some songs now make much more sense:

But why do we never hear news of runners from X, a country in southern Africa where my former roommate hails from, winning races? Simple. Even though X gots lions galore, its flatness is a major drawback. My peoples, on the other hand, run from lions uphill.

More crackpot science

The food shortage in Africa may be a blessing in disguise. Caloric restriction (all other things being equal) has long been linked with retarding the aging process. In the eyes of the rest of the world, what are we Africans but the embodiment of caloric restriction? “It’s like, where do they get the energy to wage all those wars from? በባዶ ሆድ እየተዋጉ….” Is it any wonder then that we look like we are in our twenties whereas in reality, forty is getting too close for comfort?

Read Americanah. Loved it. She sure took a couple of jabs at Etyopians: our claims of beautiful ladies and not-African-like-coloration. My lame response to that: እሰይ! እናንተ ሀገር ኩዋስ ልንጫወት መጥተን ዳቦ አልወረወራችሁብንም?! I don’t know if that story is true or not. Apparently the following is:


አዲስ አድማስ ጥቅምት ፩፭, ፳፻፯

All jokes aside, ምን ይሻለናል?!

Spoiler alert

I was kind of rooting for Ceiling’s wife. የትም ዞሮ መቶ የሰው ባል መንጠቅ ደግ ሥራ ነው?

With all due respect, እማማ ምን ነክቶዋቸው ነው?

bizu gabicha 2                             IMG_20141123_151636528[1]

ትዝታዬ. መርስኤሐዘን ወልደቂርቆስ

Some protein-DNA intercourse, with accompanying music:

leucine zipper

Remember this?

Next post is going to be a few observations from the past three months.

Excerpt “….I hate snow. Fuck Home Alone. I repeat. Fuck Home Alone the movie, parts I and II, hashtag and all. Deceiving impressionable third world children, romanticizing snow. Is the polar ice cap is melting? Goood! At least the polar bears are going to die warm, for once in their lives. Oxymoron be damned…”

After I write that post, God knows I have got nothing.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tibebe
    Nov 29, 2014 @ 01:54:53

    She was criticizing us for thinking that we were not black.

    Went winter gear shopping. I believe I am set for five winters and beyond.

    Yeah, yezefenun mecheresha yiqoreTut neber. Lela degmo tiz yalegne gin yaTahut zefen. a song from DRC I believe that went “Ize ize kuza ize ize kuza…” Singer was wearing “gomene” libs. no?

    One endaleh, enkuan 😛


  2. getere
    Nov 26, 2014 @ 17:54:08

    I love how የገጠር አማርኛ is liberal. All those beautiful names. Chra wenz. Gret. I wish we could ditch foreign languages and use our languages day to day. I regret that I use English most.

    Was she suggesting our color is not African?

    Err. It’s a good wish but I think the polar bears would burn. They’ve got a coat. It takes one a while to mutate. And it doesn’t help when one is single. Wait, unless perhaps one is of the type who can reproduce asexually by dividing onself into two, like Amoeba. But one has always said he is One. Hmmm. Just get a coat 😀

    I remember that song! Open your eyes. Sing in harmony. I had forgotten it was a whole 10 minutes of sweet harmony. In my defense ኢቲቪ and ህብረት ትርኢት used to chop songs.


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