in praise of ye posta bet mekina

In a world where celerity is prized the most, even the Etyopian Postal Service does not give due credit to its car; all that talk about EMS and they make no mention of this amazing, well, car.

This is a topic near and dear to my heart. It sucks but I know this piece won’t do justice to the way it has been running through my mind for months now.

Ye posta bet mekina is more than just a car. It is the epitome of overcoming el acomodador and achieving Zen (okay okay! that may be stretching it a bit.) It embarks upon its journey one hour before Selam and Sky Buses, but soon they would be whizzing by, showing it their asses –leaving it in their respective dust. Again, this seems to be an overstatement —arigato to the Japanese, most of the road is very nice asphalt.

Ye posta bet mekina, seeing this, does it give up? No siree! It keeps its own pace; makes multiple stops (gotta serve the people with that post delivery, man!) sometimes it backtracks to see if it has dropped something 🙂  it may sometimes overtake its nemeses when their occupants are stretching their legs or taking a piss, but it won’t be long before the natural order of things is restored; in good time it passes Medihanealem Betekristian, the gateway to Bahir Dar (or as one of the drivers likes to call it –Bahrain) making you feel like you have traveled, really traveled: none of that haste.

The aforementioned driver/MC goes out of his way to cheer up the travelers, telling jokes. Most of the jokes may come off as unfunny but you never know with these things –it’s either the teller or the audience. Anyway, props to him for trying.

Please don’t be surprised if you come upon him playing songs demanding the release of Teddy Afro two years after the release of Teddy Afro. It is a governmental organization; they don’t earmark budget for the hottest and latest releases.

I guess the moral of the previous paragraphs is, never give up. And it is in this legendary mekina that I plan, deo volente, to hit Addis Abeba tomorrow. I have got tickets and everything:

I guess the moral of the paragraphs previous to the last is, it is cheaper.

So, enqutatash is upon us once again! (i hate this saying; makes enqutatash sound like the plague.) Stay positive people! And to those of you (us) who aren’t,  let’s get your (our) negative asses to an absolute value near you(us). While you are in there, please be careful not to get cocky of your newfound positivity, lest you should knock down the bars:

Talking to our subscribers –all six of them: enkuan adresachihu! I am glad that you have found it necessary to subscribe to our bullshit but I highly doubt that you read our posts. Especially after noticing the millions of junk mail that people leave unattended to in their inboxes. God bless the lazy in you! I don’t know about the other two but personally, I can work with the illusion of being read. And there is that little issue of the relief I feel every time I hit the publish button on a new post, regardless of how mind-numbing the topic might be. That feeling is still going strong.

Here is to another year of release therapy!

One

Sewyew? Word?!

I am going home people, and you done know how that goes – hopes and fears.

Can’t say too much about the past year except maybe for, if it had kept up the pace it began with, we could have been sitting pretty on Hidar 2003 by now. It kind of lost steam midway I guess. Anyway, for better or worse, in health and sickness, a new year is at the door and we should usher it in – it is not like we have  a choice.

One of the things that have been bugging me recently is the way some people refer to me as sewyew. In my head I have always been – and by God I will always be – liju and when I  come home to the occasional bolted door I reply “ezih bet yeminorew lij!” to their “manew?” (16 months and some members of the family still don’t know my name! North Korea ain’t got shit on me!). But I mean, whatever; everyone is entitled to their opinions. And I guess the years don’t go by for no reason.

The other thing is/was the way the condoms are kept in the guards’ booth at the gate. Who in their right mind would want to help themselves to condoms from a guards’ booth? Think about it: they may even ask you for ID and shit. The problem seems to be half-solved at the moment however – the camisinhas have been transferred to a minimum security spot.

Third thing that has been worrying me is the greetings -Ethiopian greetings. All the “selam neh/nesh” and the no “Egziabher yimesgen” and don’t get me started on the “tikesha magechachet” which I happen to hate so but just cannot stop doing, sometimes out of imagined obligation. A not-so-firm hand shake for the guys and a big wet one for the ladies would have sufficed. But no! We have to keep on rubbing onto each other like sheep with scrapie.

When I say “Egziabher yimesgen”, I am talking about the heartfelt one which I for one do not practice. I am talking about the one that has its origins in having understood that each day is a blessing and that heaven is a frame of mind that is precipitated (in a good way) by the simple things that we choose to ignore everyday in our never-ending pursuit of that thing. Okay, I will stop that right now because I have got no clue what I am talking about. No, really, I am not trying to be modest! I don’t know what the fuck I am talking about.

The fact remains that I would like egziabher yimesgen to make a comeback. Just say it, dammit! And mean it mofo! Don’t fake this one for Chrissake, the way you go about your life faking damn near everything else!

And lo! A new year’s resolution starts to take form in the background, ladies and gentlemen! I will try to be real in thought, speech, action and everything in between, so help me God! Of course, this is in addition to the perennial resolution of letting Jimmy see the beautiful light of night or else let it bask in the not-so-beautiful light of day a.k.a go stark raving mad.

It is a week away but still, Melkam Enqutatash!

One year down!

EnquTaTash enkuan tolo meTash

Enkuan aderesachihu!

Today, I want it to be EnquTaTash. Why? People keep on dying (and living too), I am going to die eventually and so, I don’t want to wait for my holidays. I want to have them right here and right now. The crazy thing is that I am not that crazy about holidays. One thing that cannot be denied however, is that, every time a new year begins, I can hardly wait for it to end.

So, as I was saying, I, being human and all, may die before the year is through. But now that I have laid my hand on this song with which I have been in love for so long, I don’t want to die without telling you how much I love the song and sharing it with you .Should I die before the specified time, I want you to remember me whenever you hear the song. I wanted to say “I want you to remember me whenever EnquTaTash comes around” but I didn’t want to spoil your future holidays. Then again, you may not have too many holidays left yourselves.

I love this song. Especially the voice that is heard in the background when she sings the second verse “engiCha gonguñe … then the sound … adey kesorit…” (2:36/37)

Melkam addis amet for all Etiopians (dead and alive)

And should I feel like having another EnquTaTash, I am going to do it again and again and …

One

Note to self: you know, you could have just posted the damn song.

Answer to self: who asked for your opinion?

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