30. Menebeb

Depressed, clueless, apprehensive ……. a few words to describe the way I’ve been feeling since the holiday came to pass. What’s stressing me?  Well, I have an assignment to submit, an exam to prepare for and a project to pick up from a slump ; not to mention that girl I have yet to tell how I feel about her.  And how am I faring on all those fronts?  Not good! Not good!  

 

 My days are spent, for fear I should do some actual work, working on a sloooow computer with a lethargic internet connection to match. Whatever amount of time is left, I spend on the thoughts and hopes of her dropping me a line. 

You must be thinking “It has been 11 months and loser has not yet given up!?”

Irately I say unto thee: no, not that girl!  Though she remains to be a sensitive case, if I may add in a softer tone. Just yesterday I ran into her and ……. tachycardia!!! (It was inevitable that I would pick up on some medical terms.) But it was not like I got “that old feeling” or something.  

Shit happens; old habits die hard and I am web-promiscuous. A.k.a I have been e mailing another female whom I think is some kind of wonderful. As opposed to the former, she wrote back for a while. And when I was thinking that it was going great, she ups and blows me off.   As far as she was concerned, may be it was  going not so great from the get go. 

Now I am trying to recover from the setback I suffered going about love the only way I know how to.  

Methodology aside, another aspect open to debate is what I expect the outcome to be – should there be any outcome, that is.  The next (as in the first) girl that comes along, I think of marrying.  Of course we have to pass through the propers first –date …..have sex (*) ………get tested for HIV ( ene lay reagent eyabakenachihu new)  ……..have more sex to celebrate our negativity .

Legend: * = * 

And once we get married, hopefully  the sex  keeps coming in the commensurate amount. Gots to make up for lost time. 

It sure would be nice to get married and stay blissfully married, content in the knowledge that you are with the one person that makes your heart beat slow and fast, all at the same time.  I think it could be done and I have my enat and abat to testify for that. Today is their 42nd anniversary. They did not exactly say the words in the opening sentence of this paragraph –I heard it somewhen somewhere on a movie whose name and plot I fail to remember. Still, they are pretty happy. 

Guys, to you I raise my keyboard and mouse in unison!

I wish that my wedding could be a low key affair: nothing too hectic as in I do not want any kind of ceremony or party. I wish my conceptual significant other and I could spend the day maxing and relaxing on a beachfront somewhere; somewhere like St Kitts and Nevis……  

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Their deputy prime minister was here for the celebrations. The leaders of neighboring countries I had no problem understanding the reason behind their presence.  It is like senbete or buna tetu and while they are at it, one may ask the other to stop supporting one’s enemies. 

But St Kitts and Nevis?!  

Now I would think that people from the Caribbean have to be the ultimate party animals. Then again, it may be that we command admiration from yet another country from that part of the world. Well, right back atcha ! Heaven willing, I am getting hitched in your country. 

This morning I told my mother that Mourinho quit and she went “Wiy, ya kezgkazgaw?!” Then she went on to add “……,gentle ….” explaining who he was to my father. My father, at first, thought that I was going to speak about Meles : with all this talk that he will not run for the next election. He was asked about it and answered it in a lengthy roundabout way in which the words “metekakat” and “mesfafat” featured prominently and the gist of which appears to be “I ain’t going nowhere:: ”

 Yes: Jose was gentle – in a kezgkazgha kind of way. And he will be sorely missed- by Chelsea fans J . I like him though and think he could do a great job on the Ethiopian national team. Forget about Portugal, Real, Inter, Spurs …….. With all the money that he is likely to get/keep on getting from the untimely termination of his contract, it should be no object. He must be hungry   for a new challenge and I am sure we will prove to be more than a challenge. And should he insist on getting paid, we can always look Al Amoudi ways. 

Yoseph yimrihano leItiyopiawian  weleAfrica Wanchan yeAlem Wancha!  

Speaking of managers, Arsene Wenger was talking about how he does not like reality shows like big brother. He reckons that they make people famous for sitting around in a house the whole day doing nothing: as opposed to actually working hard as footballers do to earn the status. I think he is right. I also think that blogs are popular for the same reason. Granted they serve as an outlet. But I suspect there is an undercurrent of hunger for popularity in bloggers’ minds that makes them bare most facets of their lives to complete strangers –facets that, in the good old days, were meant for diaries alone. It is like who wants to be the next Ann Frank. Forgive the bold and inconsiderate comparison.

We keep writing about the mundane and hope someone somewhere will be interested. 

I know I fit the above description.  

I do not know about the co-authors of this here blog, but I want to be famous for my blogging prowess. I want people from all walks of life and walking on different parts of the planet, not the least of whom his my latest fixation, to stumble upon this site and fall in love with it. And hopefully, the latter will get to realize that albeit a bit demented, I clearly am  a tender loving thing. 

 

I want millions of visits; not the one thousand one hundred sixty one it is standing at present – a significant percentage of which ,I fear , is a contribution of random redirections. 

Oh! You two have not checked the blog stats?  The number of visits to andthree has been plummeting since the end of May.  I am ready to do all kinds of raunchy stuff to up the numbers- porn posting inclusive.

I want to be read, damn it! 

And whatever happened to mr. “man of few words” ? 

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2. Sost setoch……… 186 days to go

Picking up from where I left off last time, my second fear of relationships is, for lack of a better term, boredom. Once I am in a stable relationship with a girl, all the anticipation might die out and I might end up dreaming of the times I was happily chasing her. A while back, Betty forwarded me the saying “the journey is the reward”, that so eloquently describes a recurring theme in my life. So many times I have longed for something only to reminisce fondly, once I got there, of the path I took. Case in point- my college graduation.

Taking the above into account my ideal girl would be one to keep me dreaming of her even when we are sleeping side by side. Kind of like the Abinet Agonafir song that goes “tinafkignalesh derete lai honesh”. And her name would be “Serkaddis”.

My third fear is related with what I let describe my being .If I am not Tibebe the biochemistry masters student, then who am I ye all? My education is one of the few things I have going for me, along with my family and friends. It may be the only thing that I can approach a girl with.

There are these two girls whom I dig .One is a doctor and the other is an engineer. Let’s be honest, biochemistry is not as “prestigious” a profession as the other two (remember that scene from shark tale where Oscar is told by Mr. Sykes of his status in the hierarchy ?). If I get the courage to express my feelings to either or both, I fear that they may be looking for (or already have found) someone from their own ranks. And even if they don’t have a problem with my being, I hate the probability of me developing an inferiority complex once we are in a relationship.

I equally hate the probability of having a superiority complex (does it come in the form of a complex?) if I get involved with someone of a “lesser” educational standing than me.

Enough with the fear business. I have two girls in mind but I am entitled to a third .I have three reasons to back me up on my claim. One, it is “macho March”: I can say whatever male chauvinistic crap I can think of. By the way, happy March 8! Second, the Central Statistics Authority has revealed that there are 120,000 more females than males in Addis Ababa. I am feeling the moral obligation of coming to the rescue of all the damsels in distress. Remember the murderer from last time? I now think that he should be charged with the unwise use of resources: driving all those kilometers and committing some dumb shit when he could have had his pick of worthy substitutes.

The third reason is part geometry and part physical chemistry. When a guy is romantically involved with two girls, it is called a love triangle. Add one chick to the picture and what do you have? That is right, a triangular  pyramid .Now, the straight lines formed by every person could have easily given a rectangle or a square. But the uneven force of attraction/repulsion along sides and diagonals would destabilize the structure. This is the basis of the unwritten fourth law of thermodynamics, ‘‘Straight lines tend to aggregate and form an energetically favored structure namely a solid”.

This might sound pathetic, coming from a guy who is not too keen on numbers and has never been in a relationship. But if anybody is wondering about the number of girls needed to have a lasting and solid relationship, three seems to be the magic number. I mean, look at the pyramids:4,000 years on, they are still going strong.

Wait a sec, the pyramids have a rectangular base – the more chicks for me 🙂

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